Green Light Go: In Which I Change My Name

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Dearest friends,

This post has been a long time coming…since I hosted Sacred Voice with Raven, in fact, when we journeyed to ask for our Names. You know, the real ones that tell someone who you are in your heart.  That boot camp brought many of us into our holy places where the truth could come bubbling up, and where it refused to be avoided. Our truths have been singing ever since.

For the last seventeen years, I have been a Campbell. It was a tough decision to make, to take his name, because my paternal family line is so strong and our family name means something in our communities. I took on my ex-husband’s last name in a gesture of us pioneering the world together. When I began to step out more publicly into said world, I’d been wearing his name long enough to show up as a Campbell. Camp-Bell. I sort of liked the idea of being the one to ring the bell and call everyone to camp for healing and safehousing for a spell.

When I stared down the logistics of divorce last year, I considered what it would be like to have a different name than my children. We talked, one balked. We worked it out. I considered what confusion it might cause in my communities-what would the sisters do if they googled me and couldn’t find me!? All manner of fears, ludicrous and legit, played out in my mind around this topic. Who would I be with a new name?

I prayed and journeyed for my name. I consulted with my guides and council. I said countless times during the process, “I don’t even know what my name is”, “I don’t know who I am.” Dramatizing the issue of my identity lasted a short time, thankfully, but giving energy to the process provided me the chance to go inside and learn what wanted to come forward and be with me until I become complete. It called me out to get married to myself.

This ordeal, and that’s what it’s been on many levels, an ordeal, an initiation into what’s next, found me inquiring about how to go forward from the pyre.

What came through was not to go back to my “maiden” name, but to honor where I came from on a more subterranean level, that which guides so much of who I show up as, and most importantly, why.

The Choctaw Lighthorse were the Tribal Police my grandfather was employed by in the late 1800’s, the appointed peacekeepers on the reservation. Sometimes things weren’t peaceful at all in this wild, frontier era, but the Lighthorsemen upheld their laws and formed a structure for the Five Civilized Nations. These laws were rooted in, essentially, the honor system. Lighthorse is the name I gave my little Libra boy when I sensed his immense connection to what is fair and good and right in this world. I wanted to flood his path with support from the ancestors. I wanted the masculine protectors to be with us, without having to embody them in full warrior regalia.

~

I had a talk with my beloved today about authenticity, the kind you learn to trust when people rip your stuff off. Hear me out. We were talking about what happens when someone appropriates your mojo and calls it their own, which has happened to both of us. I told him that I don’t worry about such things, because imitations never come across as authentic, they lack the soul that the originator sculpts into the work so effortlessly. He commented that I seem to operate on the honor system around things like this, and it’s true. Some of my fiercest lessons in life have been around allowing unbalanced people and situations to show up as who/what they really are, remain relatively neutral, and most often, watch them fall aways as quickly as they came in- restoring balance to my world without me getting my hands too dirty. Hence all the ease around boundaries, I suppose.

It’s probably our twinsie Libra-risings which helps us to relate on this…how balance always comes if we can patiently allow it to.

We don’t have to go to war-it doesn’t ever create balance. It usually just creates a more equal sense of imbalance. If one adjusts for imbalance, the result throws them off-kilter like a ship at sea. Everybody capsizes.

Justice, if you want to call it that, is always served on a higher level and I needn’t meddle much with natural order to trust that when one brings peace and light to the table, peace and light will prevail for them.

I have this theory about following the green lights. When it’s the right time to do the next right thing, the light will turn green. The way will be paved for passage. Our way is always being prepared for us a few steps ahead.

In one year, I dissolved a malfunctioning marriage, left two towns, rooted down at a ranch and a community school with my two unschooled cubs (in a place where we didn’t know a soul), AND came nose-to-nose with my now-significant partner relationship. I would not be here if the lights hadn’t been bright green, if the cosmos and all attendant guides hadn’t made it clear to me to giddy up (cowboy-speak for “make your move, already”).

I’ve been waiting for a particular light to turn, the one in which I share with you that I’m no longer a Campbell. The holy day of the ancestors is as green as it gets. They’re behind me, and I know you will be, too.

Love and clear passage for the radiant truth in each of you,

Pixie Lighthorse

{new website coming soon}

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Giveaway for Visual Quest!

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Visual Quest student work by Katie Ryan

I’m hosting a giveaway for my 5-week shamanic painting course Visual Quest!

{which is so unbelievably exciting for the team as we prepare to begin on Monday}

TWO spots in the VQ Studio are available-here are the deets:

  • Share this post on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter
  • Comment here with your answer to this question: How do you most enjoy deep self-expression?
  • Include your number of shares so I know how many times to enter you!

Winners will be announced at 6pm Saturday, the Holy Day of the Dead…when the past is honored and new beginnings welcomed in.

 

GOOD LUCK!

 

CONGRATULATIONS to Joy Holland & Melissa Kaiser!

Thank you to all who commented about how you express your sacred, it means the world to me

that you make a practice of taking this level of care of yourselves.

{Registration is still open and class begins Monday-come paint with me!! We have some amazing surprises in store.}

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8 Ways to Create More Authentic, Meaningful Artwork

Visual Quest Student Work

Visual Quest Student Work

As a spirit seeker, I’m always goldmining the present moment for the sacred. I also set up my life and my travels around creating sacred connection. I see humanity on a quest to touch the divine within them in order to connect to the Great Mystery, the divine without.

Surrendering control is the first step.

Each of us has different love languages- ways of expressing what’s inside of us.

For some thoughts, feelings and transitions, there are no words. 

So we create! We make with our minds and hands to move what’s in our soul out into the world.

Sometimes our work looks decidedly like other artists’. Boo! We want our work to be our own- original, true and distinct. It can be a challenge to execute a creative idea in our style, and so we play it safe – we paint like others paint, write poems in others’ voices, write prose imitating the masters.

With this in mind, I crafted 8 Ways to Create More Authentic Artwork, number one, because I love eight. It’s infinite! And two, because what’s in your soul loves to be expressed in your voice, not someone else’s.

8 Ways to Create More Authentic Artwork

1. Find accessible portals into your soul.
Travel into other dimensions of Self for information. Discover your way in. The rabbit holes await.

2. Get intimate with what’s in there.
Don’t be afraid. It’s just beautiful, deep you.

3. Face it fearlessly and honestly.
Then get even more honest. Listen to what you’ve been previously afraid to.

4. Release your expectations.
Your creation doesn’t need to look pretty or nice. Allow it to be as mysterious as you are.

5. Allow your soul-stuff to come to life without attachment.
Kind of like we parents do with our children. It doesn’t have to make you look good or your ego feel good to be worthwhile. All it has to do is mean something to you.

6. Travel deeper into your soul.
You’ll begin to sense it mingling with the divine. Create from that magical kingdom. Learn it’s topography by walking through it as a respectful observer rather than know-it-all tour guide.

7. Release it in color and movement across the blank surface.
Let your creation tell you what shape it wants to take. Let your soul speak directly to your hands as you step aside and surrender the reins. Trust what comes from you.

8. Follow your creation’s lead and let it bring the teaching to you.
Allow the unconscious re-membering to be medicinal for the conscious you, which lives up here in Ordinary Reality. You are the Wisdom Keeper for what’s in your soul from long, long ago.

And if you require some heart and hand-holding during this process, I love to nurture the sacred expression in you. Come to Visual Quest and paint with me!
It begins Monday, and we’ll be painting live in session during the course, as well as taking trips aplenty through those gorgeous and revealing portals together.

Cornerstones of Soul Work: Honoring Your Life

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When I work with women in SouLodge and all along my path, what I hear most is that they’re having interpersonal conflict: with their significant other, with their children, with their co-workers and bosses, with friends, exes. It can be very challenging to get started down your good road when you have baggage dragging behind you cluttering up your relationships. You can divine from the stars, cultivate radical compassion and acceptance, draw from card decks, throw the bones-none of it seems to help when relationships are in a state of imbalance.

The reason why I teach this boundaries stuff is because without them, you can’t be solid in your commitment to Spirit. The reason for this is because you are not yet solid in your commitment to yourself.

Setting limits and boundaries seems kind of like marking your territory, but what it really is about is HONORING YOUR LIFE.

We’re given this time on Earth to live our best lives to the best of our ability, with all of the information that we currently have, at any given moment. When Spirit is calling us to higher purpose and accountability, we want to say yes. Most of us have no choice but to say yes. Spirit is very difficult to say no to. When you set foot on an awakened path, you no longer have the resources or precious time to have relationships unraveling all around you.

Boundaries practice is exactly that: a practice of honoring your life. Putting yourself first so that others will put themselves first. Releasing expectations of others to know how not to violate your energies by preserving them in a sacred way. Calling in the able guides who will help you stay protected even when you aren’t thinking about it.

And so it will be. This Monday.

 

 

image by Pamela Singh, Chipko Women Hug Tree to Protect it from Being Cut in Northern Uttar Pradesh, 1994

Who Cares What Others Think?

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Raven Queen by Rose Ravenette

Something that comes up in my circles regularly is the worry about what others are thinking about what you’re doing and how you’re living your life.

 

When does it matter what others think about you?

Maybe when your most intimate council of friends perceives that you’re acting from a hurt place and want to give you gentle feedback.

Maybe when the elders in your community want to advise or direct you based on what they have seen in you since you were a child.

Maybe when you truly are in danger of losing something precious.

I’m guessing here, based on personal experience and high-quality relationships. Answer for yourself and see if you can debunk your own myths.

I live a relatively independent lifestyle with little concern for what others think of how I’m parenting my children, how I look, show up in community, do my work, relate to Spirit, vote, etc. Not everyone cares to be so free-wheelin’, but what I realize in conversation with women is that most of their fears about what others think of them serve only to keep them small.

Self-conciousness is the opposite of confidence, and our culture seems to be obsessed with showing up in a way that will get them external validation. Why?

Because we’re starving for approval.

My theory on why this occurs is because we were reared during a time when it was considered very important to allow others’ perceptions about us be more important than our own, to the point of dissociating with our own ability to be satisfied and be “enough” for ourselves. Proving worth, climbing ladders, and showing off assets has sort of outlived it’s short-term usefulness, at least in my communities. What is here to take it’s place is confidence about the path you’re walking, and a willingness to walk it no matter what other people think or say about you. It requires strength and vulnerability, and a determination to protect your energy when you are walking your walk.

Detaching from other folks opinions of you creates room for your opinion of yourself, which has become lost in the chaos of what you think is expected of you. Your values rule when you can stand tall up on those beautiful hind quarters and spread your wings wide.

You are the queen of your realm.

And so it is.

One Way to Restore Balance

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Boundaries are those lines in the sand no one is supposed to cross. When they get crossed and you lack the confident and fair language to put things right, and quickly, a chain reaction of emotional turmoil tends to ensue. Left untended, relationships become unbalanced and sometimes end. Often after a boundaries violation, we’re left feeling disrespected, which is common in a culture which has put too many things ahead of respect in terms of core values. The tricky part is that we also unwittingly cross others’ boundaries because of how we’ve been cultured.

When boundaries are crossed, we allow others into our personal and private space. It leads to a depletion of our energy, which is so precious in this busy, modern era. The dimension we exist in and the paths we’re walking ask a lot of us! It’s important to preserve what we can and have a plan for how to budget our energy in order to take care of our most basic emotional and spiritual needs.

Boundaries are guidelines for how we want to be respected/respectful, but they’re more than that. They represent how we identify ourselves on the inside, and in the context of the world around us.

What are your basic energy needs? How do you conserve them? Honor them? Leak them?

And here’s a curve ball: What happens when we set limits for ourselves and then cross them?

For one thing, we compromise our integrity, fall prey to our own shadow behaviors, lose confidence in ourselves to stick to our agreements- all which results in a de-pressing of what is true and authentic for us. We get stuck, and can’t find our compass within. It basically seems like all hell is breaking loose in our world. We’ve given our precious energies away and are stealing unknowingly from others. We wander aimlessly not knowing how to take care of ourselves and be an asset to ourselves, our families and the world.

In SouLodge Boot Camps, beautiful, fast-track community conversations take place about how to be, what to do, effective language to use, and how to restore balance to an unbalanced world.

Some healing of thoughts, ideas and childhood injuries usually occur. It starts with us, and we have to begin where we have the most information, which is right inside of our own lives! Fortunately, we have guides (RAWR! SSSssss! Awroooooo!) available to model new ways.

 Register now!

Boundaries Boot Camp with Mountain Lion runs this Monday, October 6-20. Join our two-week, lively, relevant dialogue around the fire! 

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Superhero Bundle of Growth and Creativity!

I’m so thrilled to be included in this wild bunch of artists and leaders!!! We’ve had quite a year and Andrea has assembled us for a big party of superheroics. Thank you, Andrea!!!!

For $99 you can have access to my Boundaries Boot Camp 11 other amazing offerings like Kelly Rae’s flying lessons and Andrea Scher’s Treasure Hunt!

The sale ends this Friday, September 26th.

Sunday Prayer

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Mother Earth, Father Sky, all of the benevolent guides and spirits who show up unfailingly on our behalf,

Thank you for this exquisite day of promise.

Find us honoring the men, boys, fathers, brothers, and sons who surround us. Let us lift them high up to the Sun in respect and love so that they may find their way in a world which is trying so hard to come into balance with the Divine Feminine. Let them know that we support them, accept them, and love them deeply. Inspire in them a willingness to work together.

Mother, find them laying on your surface for comfort, climbing your trees for the gift of overview, and calling your nurturing energy up through the soles of their feet in a gesture of accepting your deep core medicine, too, alongside the masculine energy of the Sun.

Show us the animals, plants and stones that are medicinal for our earthwalks. Allow us to lay down our bones, and those of our loved ones, when it is time to return spirit matter to the Sky Nation and earth matter to you.

Hold our hands as we take this journey together. Show us ourselves in the mirror of one another, and allow us to own what it is in others that we, too, contain.

Bestow upon us compassion, tolerance, the knowledge that there are many, many ways to bring you into our hearts and heal what is broken, what still hurts.

Curl us up in the season we reside in so that we may know and feel your warm love.

Aho.

24 Hour Giveaway: 10 Spots in Boundaries Boot Camp

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24 Hour Giveaway! Enter to grab a seat in Boundaries Boot Camp II with a comment below, twice if you share the link, and thrice if you tweet. Let me know in your comment how many times to enter you. Yip!! Yip!!

This work of boundaries is so important to me, I think that everyone benefits from a solid practice. Education is needed about respectful behavior in our culture, and boundaries is ALL ABOUT self-respect and respect for others. One of the ways we bring it all together is with the natural and flowing use of appropriate language. It takes time and practice to get comfortable holding a graceful space of integrity around you! There are so many beautiful ways to take care of yourself with the right words, and we’ll explore all of them! Our approach is to “know what we need and ask for what we want”. The trick is to say it in a way that honors YOU and also the person across from you at the negotiation table, in a way that feels natural to both of you, which means sticking to the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

To read more about the 2 week course, go HERE.

Good Luck! Winners will be announced Saturday afternoon!

Sunday Prayer

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Mother Earth, Father Sky, Ancestors and Angels and those who have paved the way before us,

Thank you for this beautiful day of learning and loving.

Thank you for the water, the grass, the simple things we need to live and tend to take for granted.

Bless our paths as we leave a season of our lives behind and declare new footsteps, again.

Guide us to real freedom by showing us our part in everything-everything beautiful and of creation, as well as destructive. Both of are of you. Allow us to sit in our quicksands for as long as we need to before we can move forward. Keep us from hurrying the process of sinking and gasping for last breaths, knowing that it is in the letting go  we gain our sovereignty. It is in the ownership of the role we’ve played which will release us.

Humble us by removing our disclaimers, our qualifiers, and our blame. Find us sitting on the mountain waiting for the visions to come from you, disrobed of our arrogance, stripped of our expectations, devoid of impatience.

Hold us tenderly when we suffer, and amplify our radiance when we shine. Heal us with right medicines which open us all the way up, not shut our sensitivities down.

Teach us to nurture ourselves deeply and leave tracks for others on path to find us.

Aho.